East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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