After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
