i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
