Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My bed smells like the plague
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
