Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're breaking my sexual little heart
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
