oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
