Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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