Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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