You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
