i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
