maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
