yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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