Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
