WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
