I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I lost the right to judge tonight
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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