Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
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I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.