I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
