Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
