I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
