Screwed.edu
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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