Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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