Three words: puerto rican gang bang
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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