that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
