i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize