can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
