Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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