That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
