yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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