drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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