had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
