I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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