How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
