Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
