We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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