paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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