He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
