she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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