Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
