3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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