What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
