Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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