this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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