You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
