She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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