Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
