He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
