i don't like sucking hair
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
