i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
