I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
