I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The Olympian is in my bed
Please don't give away my fajitas
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
