Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
