I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
