Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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