We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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