I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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