im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
COCAINE IS GR8
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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