we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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