I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
