I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
