I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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