Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
