the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i think i have herpe
just one?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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