I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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